Since others refuse to answer any posts other than their own, I will help you.
The big misunderstanding here is that she just all of a sudden fell out of love with you,no one just falls out of love and they certainly do not forget. I can tell you from my experience that all the sweet things you did for her, every memory of love is now clouded by anger and hurt because of the loss of her mother. For that reason she will push away everyone that tries to help. She will blame you for everything because it makes things easier on her until she has come to terms and is ready to open up again.
If you ever want to win her back you need to stop persuing her, stop calling her and checking up on her, and stop contacting her period. Right now she needs space to find herself and you need to heal the pain and figure out what went wrong so you can work on yourself. Give her anywhere from a couple weeks to two months for her to contact you, it never really takes longer than a month or so for her to miss you.
When you do talk to her your best bet is take things like this is a do-over, that means you have to get her to open up all over again but without trying to seduce her. She will be ripe with seeded pain and just looking for an excuse to lash out which is where that cool and collected mind you developed during that period of no contact comes in.
Even in the worst of circumstances your first contact will just be both of you checking in on eachother and last about ten minutes or so. That is unless you can figure out a way to distract her and get her to laugh or escelate her mood three or more times, then ask her openly about meeting somewhere where there is little or no pressure to get her to stay. Trust me on this one I used to date a lot of messed up girls and it never failed to get them to admit what was going on.
I could keep going with this all night but will save you the trouble and end with this; Look man I know what you're going through, all the pain and resentment, but you know for a fact that she is hurting just as much as you are. All she needs is some time to sort herself out with no pressure to return and her best friend and husband to be there for her when she gets everything settled out. I went through the same thing with my wife except it was a divorce to free herself from life's pressures, soon after she realized what she was missing and now we are slowly working at reconciling or delaying the process for more time.
