Back home - but for how long?

[NYCPeter]

Bad day yesterday.

W came home from in-laws yesterday. We had a pleasant family meal and I read the girls stories and put them to bed.

W initiated conversation after dinner and I backslid big time - I can't remember too much, but it was along the lines of :
W - I hope you realize why I need to do this
M - I really don't, we can have a great life and it's all so fixable with a little effort
W - I've tried, but it's not working
M - I can't believe that we're going to break up our family and that I am being turned into a part-time dad
W - The girls will be ok, we'll be ok
M - I want better than ok, I want great (read that on someone else's post here).
W - Well my mind is made up, I am done.
M - Why? from every perspective this will be worse for all of us, financially, emotionally and the girls well-being.
W - I need to find myself, I can't do that with you.
M - I don't know what that means, can you explain.
W - I need to be honest with myself, I feel like I am acting by wanting to be around you.
M - Let's give this a little more time and not be rash
W - I am out of time

She went up to bed, I stayed downstairs and went to bed much later. When I climbed into bed, she said goodnight and turned her back on me.

I should have ended the R talk and just validated everything she said, I did not raise my voice or get upset - but I truly do not understand what she needs to find in herself and why she can't do that as a family.