I sent MIL flowers

[25yearsmlc]

My son wants to major in film making. I hope there will be jobs for that though.


There are a ton of jobs in film making and more forms of it as well. There are "Films" on the web, TV shows, and feature films and industrials and shorts...there are MORE forms of "film" now than before.

My son25 is an actor in NYC. He went to NYU's Tisch School of Performing Arts.

In high school, He won acting awards and we knew he and d22 were exceptional if I say so myself. But He had excellent grades, almost perfect SATs and was a state wrestling champion too. So He could have gone anywhere or majored in anything.

I was afraid for him choosing such an unpredictable field as acting, b/c the life of an artist will always face challenges with money & commerce. I get that. But a college degree means something so in a way our son "compromised" by not dropping out to audition but instead to get formal conservatory training and a BFA, & that's all we could ask.

But I also believe in my son's talent. Don't you feel your son has some? Has he been interested in films before now?

Our son has a passion for what he does, and he's branched out into film making too. He is getting work, he has not borrowed from us, and he's really engaged in what he's doing. THAT is enough for me.

IF the time comes for him to have a family, he'll do what he needs to do. I think he'll continue to grow a career that will enable him to love his work and pay his bills.

That's enough. Not fame or fortune but what 95% of successful working actors do--pay their bills, get and enjoy their work, and hope to do work that is respected by their peers.

As far as wealth and being practical, you are off base there, empirically. You may be as surprised as I was, to learn that--

Mitch Albom quoted a 20 year Yale study of students who chose to

either 1) earn enough money first so they could follow their passions later...

OR

2) those who followed their passions first and worried about money either not at all, or later.

20 years passed and 87% of the wealthiest graduates had been in the 2nd group.

By following their passion (like Steve Jobs, George Lucas, James Cameron, Bill Gates, Brad Pitt, etc) the graduates found they were putting in long hours b/c they LOVED what they were doing and they found they excelled at it...and being among the best at something you love - tends to make you plenty of money...



i suggested he minor in that, and go into something medical. but he said he is not going to do something he doesnt like his whole life.

Assuming he was respectful when he spoke to you, I say God bless him for standing up for what he believes and wanting more out of life than "a job"...I admire him for wanting to follow his passion.

Just ask him to take an economics class so he understands money & government class, so he understands power in this nation, and he'll be a happier man.


i told him its a different world now you cant just think of what you like you have to go for where the jobs will be. would you rather live in poverty or have a job you kind of like, what would cause more pain.

RM, I think that mindset is coming from your depression. It's the saddest thing I have heard someone tell a young man. Ask what would bring more JOY and fulfillment? Do you see how upside down your view point must seem to HIM, if he's just 18 and I find it depressing and I'm close to your age? OMG please see this...

The Russian inlaw who said to my son 'Oh you want to be an actor...good luck being foolish" is hated by our entire family. When he asks about a play our son is in (his won a top award last August, btw) we want to know why he'd even ask...such cynicism b/c that inlaw is a bitter miserable man who's kids and ex w don't speak to him. Now our son doesn't want to either....RM, wake up and hear how you sound. I KNOW you mean well but think about your motives...

what are you afraid of? Your son will attend a fine university and get a degree. Who cares what it's in? He simply needs a college degree for most careers ---except the one he's interested in-yet he's willing to go to school!

In our youth -- we MUST have dreams and we hope to meet some of them and just getting half way there is success and happiness...but if we are not even allowed to have dreams...

we're really doomed to a life that has set such a low bar that getting half way there means being miserable.

There are days I wish s25 had more stable work. And I wish he'd move out here too. (Still hoping- but only if it's what's best for HIM)...

but studying drama or film means studying the human condition.

Not many fields exclude that so your son will benefit regardless of what he ends up doing. Geez RM, your son may film something that changes people's minds/hearts about a war, or a cause dear to yours, or a romance...

And your son will enter a field rich with opportunity if he's not insisting on being in front of the camera. There are tons of avenues for work...

As for the medical field, I thought that you were the one in radiology tech school...does he even have an interest in medicine?

Plus my h is an MD. He has work galore and if you don't count his hours, he's paid well. But we married young so I got to witness the whole process of college and med school and residency and fellowship....his getting there was a miserable march through relentlessly long hours of brutal working conditions, high divorce rates, stress & substance abuse...none of our children are pursuing medicine as a career and <10% of MDs surveyed
said they'd want their kids to go into medicine...

No one who doesn't really really want it, should be there. OR will last...

Be careful what you wish for.




I think once i file for d, h is no longer going to talk to me. once he starts down a road like the one with ow, he continues down it , i know thats how he is. I know it was a mistake to tell him to leave 2 yrs ago, cuz ow really got her claws in him by moving in with him, i was just devastated at the time, that he went back to her, after being back home for 2 yrs.