Well, I feel a parent should never try to plan their child's future. If the child does what the parent wants, and doesn't love his work, he will be bitter against the parent. Let him do the career he wants to do, if he does what he loves he will be happy, isn't that all we should want for them? And he can always change his mind if he doesn't like it. My H worked since he was a teenager in a job he liked, then after years of it, the place changed hands, and he no longer liked it there. So, he told no one but me, and applied for the police department. When we finally told people after he was accepted, they were shocked, and thought he couldn't or shouldn't do it. Well, here we are 15 yrs later, and he still loves it. I totally supported him in doing something he all his life wanted to do, but only decided to do it because of his company changing hands.
So, if you don't feel your H will talk to you again if you file for D, then talk to him BEFORE you file. Get him involved in your life again. Ask him to go with you to pick out the car. Ask him to meet with you to talk about something to do with your S. Ask him to go somewhere with you and S. Smile at him, be sweet and nice to him. See if there could be a spark reignited between you two again. Once those papers are signed, he is free to marry ow, isn't he? You have to help yourself. Your H might not be the type to get an epiphany one day and crawl back home, begging for forgiveness. Maybe help him see why he should even think about it. It's been a long time, if not now, when? I get that you were devastated 2 years ago, but you can't stay at that point forever, can you?
Please think about it, rysmom, a lot of people here care about you, and what happens.
