Wife no longer in love with me - Part 4

[MrBond]

You've really got to stop with the 'I' statements. You really don't see what everyone's telling you. You've made this all about yourself which is why you're failing. And let me tell you, if you don't learn that lesson, your next R will crumble for that very same reason.

Anyhow, ask anyone in a long term relationship if they are ALWAYS in love with their spouse. They are very rare. You learn together and you grow. There are peaks and valleys. Everyone has them.

"I want to stay married, but it would take a miracle to do so"

Not true. If you actually truly listened to what people advised you here, you would be in a much better place. Who knows? If you actually tried to DB, you might find yourself in a better position. Your attitude right now is that you're ready right now, so she better step up. Doesn't work that way.

"I know that with work I can forgive her and we could be stronger from this, but she doesn't."

You forgive for yourself. The way you make it sound is that you're better than her. If you come across like that in your posts, can you imagine how you must sound to her?

"She feels that if this is happening now in our M, then theres no way we can continue and bring kids into it in the future, so she has to get out now."

Again. Trust. She doesn't trust you. And the holier than thou attitude isn't helping much.

"it frustrates me because I still take a lot of the blame, where she doesn't."

Again, you want her to be wrong. I can guarantee you that she feels alot of guilt over this. But when you keep chastising her, it makes it real easy to get over that.

"I feel like I have wasted 8 yrs of my life and I am struggling so much because I was one of the first to get married out of my friends, and now they're all having kids, loving life and happy......and I am the only one who is single and may never have that."

Again. You're just thinking about yourself. That's why your W wants out. I don't think I've recalled reading something about where you wrote about your W's needs and what you've been doing to help with that.

Alot of your posts are all about you and what you need. Well you're not the one walking out and the last time I checked, a M is about giving your spouse what they need. It's not expecting what you need.

Its your expectations (she has to apologize, she needs to feel this, she should feel that) that is killing your M. Not your W.