I guess that is why i'll still go to the counseling with her. Maybe i'll know from the counselor if i am expecting the moon from my wife....
You're merely setting boundaries. But - I might be stating the obvious here - always keep in mind that we have boundaries when we're single or DB/DRing, and boundaries when we're in a relationship. Moreover, both you and your wife (especially) still carry a certain level of resentment. It's up to her to either keep that in check and/or eradicate it altogether. Give yourself time and reasonable space; you're still mending (?) on shattered glass here, so things can and will still be painful and sensitive.
