OT - when trust has been betrayed, not once, but over a 6+ year period, in terms of infidelity, stealing of joint assets, emotional abuse, neglect of children, even if it is done by a person in crisis, at last some of those issues need explicitly addressing before a close relationship can be resumed.
I have learned this to my cost - I took my husband back several times, loved him, and wanted to move on. BUT he had not looked within himself. Until the MLCer does that, a real relationship is not possible, I have come to believe.
I am not bitter - I love my xh and wish him well. I have helped him gladly, on many occasions, and not kept any score.
I agree that trust is a team project, with both partners playing. If one drops out, they do have to get back into the game. But perhaps we will never agree, and it is Valeria's thread, not mine!
