The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

[LearningPatience]

It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted, figured I could give an update of sorts.

I've clearly become the LBS that has become the WAS and I'm fine with that. W and I have seen each other twice in the past two weeks and I haven't really missed her in between. First time was at a wedding we both went to. Reception was at the same place we had ours almost 5 years ago (anniversary is this Friday). It was both a fun night and a bit sad too. Didn't talk to her much there. Other time we saw each other was last night. Had a 'date' of sorts, but it was really just a couple of friends catching up. I really didn't feel anything for her but we still had a good time.

In the meantime, I've spent just about every day either emailing or texting my 'friend' E for hours at a time. We did end up sleeping together (in both senses of the term) after the wedding we went to. We've talked a little bit about what this R is about and we both agreed it was a comfort thing, at least for now.

There are some complications of course. Biggest one is that I'm still legally M, even though emotionally the M ended long ago. W has maintained that she wants a D, but I have no idea if she's done anything about it. I've looked into a couple of L and will file myself if W doesn't soon. The M limbo has to go.

It's also complicated that we are all part of a large group of friends. E and I are trying to stay casual in front of our friends, but I think there are probably a few suspicions, especially after the wedding. It will only be a matter of time before most of our group figures things out.

One other complication, at least for me, is that E's kids go to school with mine. Her S is a senior, two grades ahead of my S15, but her D and S12 are in the same grade and have had classes together. The boys know E, but I'm not ready to introduce someone into their lives unless it's something I feel will go somewhere.

So that's where I am now. I'm pretty happy and just a tad bit nervous about getting into a new R. I want to take things slow, but I know myself and that I fall for people quickly. I also don't want to make the same mistakes I've made in previous Rs. If anything, I want to make newer and better mistakes