Valeria - I totally relate to all you have written [including running for the hills LOL]. Yes, we made mistakes, yes we fixed ourselves, so others have noticed too - not just in our heads. Yes we have compassion for the MLcer. But ultimately they made choices that hurt very many people. That isn't being vindictive, but clear sighted.
I also want my xh to be happy, but until he faces himself, any reconciliation isn't going to help him to be happy. These MLCer tried that already.
I also agree that three years ago I would have jumped at reconciliation, but the passage of time, and my having got a good life together, on my own, makes me reluctant to take further chances. Like your xh, mine came back several times, and left again. That alone makes me cautious.
It is actions, not words that we need to see after all of this time.
