In the eye of my storm

[LITB]

“The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity”. - Ulysses S. Grant

Thanks for dropping in 2step and sharing this quote. It is very fitting for many reasons.

I hope you are doing well yourself.

[LITB]

I have a lot to update and this is a perfect time since my flight is delayed for 3 hours.....

First, I did get to speak at the memorial service for my best friend Wednesday night. It was difficult, but I made it through without breaking down. His 6 month old daughter was babbling while I was speaking and I stopped my story to say, "yes, you are beautiful baby Avery. I know your daddy is living through you." Many people were touched by the story and his family was very grateful for being there and making it to Boston. As I told them, it was the least that I could do.

I am going to update the rest of my weekend in a separate post after some coffee.

[LITB]

I had a couple of interviews with two contractors here in Albuquerque on Thursday. They both went really well, especially the first one. They have already followed up with me a couple of times. They were calling my references, so that is a good sign.

After the interviews I picked my kids up from school. Always a good deal. I had this older lady come up to me to give me the nicest compliment as she watched me hug and kiss my S5. She said, "That little boy is lucky to have a dad like you. I saw how affectionate you were with him. We need more dads like you." WOW, I thanked her for the nice compliment. You never know who is watching.

We went swimming that night, on Friday we went roller skating and the Casting Crowns "Come to the Well" tour and on Saturday night we went to the Balloon Fiesta glow. Quite the weekend of GAL.

Let me update my sitch...
So I have a flight scheduled out of Albuquerque this morning @ 5:30. I had made arrangements with one of my friends to drop me off. Well, coincidentally my W is scheduled to fly out on business @ 6, so she offers to give me a ride.

Given how early our flights are, it didn't make sense for me to spend the night @ my friend's house, so she told me that I was more than welcome to sleep @ her house. "Thinking to myself...hmmm..interesting". It gives me the opportunity to spend more time with my kids, so I am down with it.

Yesterday my W came to pick us up @ the hotel so we could go to church. While I went to checkout, she loaded the kids into her car. When I got to the car, she was sitting in the passenger seat. Another interesting twist. Yes, I usually would do the driving while we were M, but I figured since we are separated she would treat me as any other friend. I did all of the driving, including to the airport this morning. All I can say is, "interesting".

Well on are drive in this morning, she brought the D and the need to let our kids know. I suppose to be clear with them as they are asking her questions. Kind of a surprise given her behavior. She also brought up the status of the proceedings. I let her know that I am holding off until my job situation clears up.

I think that about covers it.

[jbnati]

LITB, definitely sounds like an "interesting" weekend. Who knows where this is leading?

Hope you enjoyed the Casting Crowns concert! I really like their thought provoking lyrics.

Good luck with the ongoing job search!

[LITB]

LITB, definitely sounds like an "interesting" weekend. Who knows where this is leading?

Thanks as always for checking in JB.

I have no idea where this is leading. My W’s actions and words do not align, but there is no point in trying to figure it out. I must move forward as the D will be finalized at some point in the first half of next year. Gotta be the best LITB no matter what happens.

Good luck with the ongoing job search!

Thanks. It might take awhile, but hopefully something will come to fruition by the end of the year. Another thing to be patient about.

Hope you enjoyed the Casting Crowns concert! I really like their thought provoking lyrics.

The Casting Crowns concert was great. My daughter really enjoyed it. My son not so much.

This morning before walking my W to her gate we sat down to have a cup of coffee. She asked me how I was doing. I told her that I have lost a lot in the last couple of years. My dad, my family and now my best friend, but I know that I will be alright. She went then tells me that I am a good person. I don’t think I said anything to that.

It was an emotional morning talking to her about my friend. I was telling her about being with Matt at the hospital. He wasn’t a touchy/feely type a guy and neither am I, but I held his hand and talked to him about the great times we had together and what a great friend he was. Wow, life has a way of putting us on our knees.

So this song by Casting Crowns is fitting:
Praise you in this storm

[jbnati]

LITB, I still think you have a good perspective on things. You're keeping your expectations in check. You're right - concentrate on being the best possible LITB, regardless of the outcome.

It was an emotional morning talking to her about my friend. I was telling her about being with Matt at the hospital. He wasn’t a touchy/feely type a guy and neither am I, but I held his hand and talked to him about the great times we had together and what a great friend he was. Wow, life has a way of putting us on our knees.

Wow.

So this song by Casting Crowns is fitting:
Praise you in this storm

Yes, it is, my friend. It is for many of us.

[gunny]

2step,

I have been reading your posts starting from the ones you posted in Jan. I am struck by similarities of my sitch to yours. I am also in Jersey, and dealing with a soon to be moving s who is moving to Ohio. You would be doing me a huge favor and I would be greatly appreciative if you could read some of my posts and comment/give me your opinion of my sitch. Thanks for taking the time, how do I join the BITS club?
Gunny

p.s. sorry for butting in here my apologies

[LITB]

It has been quite some time since I have journaled/updated my sitch.

There is plenty to update.

I have met 2 more times with one of the companies that I interviewed at the beginning of October while I was in NM last week. It looks like a good possibility after the start of the new year. I’m looking forward to having and seeing my children more often. Flying back and forth to NM is for the birds.

I have moved out of the house I was renting and moved in with a couple of roommates. It has given me a lot of flexibility financially. I kind of feel sorry for my W to see how much she is struggling to get by. Unfortunately for her, it is one of the consequences of her decision.

As far as the D goes, it is on hold until January per my request pending my employment transition. My W doesn’t have a problem with it, although at the beginning of November she mentioned that she wants it to be done. It is crazy, because her actions and words do not align. She picks me up and drops me off at the airport. We have gone to church as a family every time I have been down there, except once.

Before making my trip for Thanksgiving, she suggested picking me up and letting me spend the night at her house when I arrived and again the night before I flew back. I am grateful for that, because I get to spend more time with our children and take them and pick them up from school.

After my children and I arrived at my W’s house on Sunday evening, they all gave me cards, pictures and a gift for my birthday. Even a really nice card from my MIL. I had a lot of animosity towards my MIL as recently as September, I have finally come to realize that this was completely my W’s decision and my MIL did not influence her.

It was a year on Tuesday that my W dropped the bomb. As crazy as this year has been, it has gone by quickly. I’m looking forward to new things in the coming year.

Life is good.

[jbnati]

Glad you checked in, LITB. Sounds like things are going as well as you could expect! The inconsistency of your W is amazing.

You never know where all this is leading. I guess you just have to go with the flow.

[LITB]

Thanks as always for chiming in JB. I need to catch up with your sitch.

One other thing that I meant to mention. I had my children from Wednesday until Sunday over the Thanksgiving holiday. My W told them when we returned, "it seems like you guys grow every time I don't see you for a few days". I wanted to say, "yeah, just wait until I move down here and have them every other week."

I didn't say anything. I'll just have to wait until it happens.

I'm so looking forward to my move. If my W and I do not reconcile, there are plenty of things to embrace when you don't have to worry about anyone's input.