UPDATE Practically everyone I've talked to this past week have said that I should really protect myself and think strongly about pursuing the divorce first.
Doing so will really hurt our son (I still refuse to use the term 'my son', because he is ours. I'm quite sure my wife solely uses the latter to claim ownership, which is just paltry). Providing the best for our son doesn't mean break him up from either of his parents, does it? Because of our darned legal system, I feel like I'm being forced into choosing the lesser of two evils, i.e. protect myself and our son. The way to justify it is my wife walked away from this, and thus shouldn't be allowed to take anything that belongs in this marriage with her.
Also, I'm very disheartened by so many stories/experiences from my friends indicating how biased California courts are to mothers, no matter how screwed up or (as some were called) 'evil' they are. So I feel like my chances of custody success is a joke and really depends on what kind of judge we get.
