I've spent the past 6 years lamenting the mistakes I made during our M. I made a slew - far more than H. I've spent many a night agonizing over my stupidity .. mostly selfishness and taking H for granted.
Hindsight, right? But all that self-analyzing made me a better person and I promised myself early on that if my prayers were answered and H came home, I would finally be the W that he deserved.
H didn't believe me. He chose to continue his path with alcohol and OW. I waited on him for a long, long time. I kept the light burning ahd he knew it. We tried to reconcile 5 or 6 times, but the lure of alcohol and OW and living the "free" life took precedence. After so many years, I finally accepted that H would never come back -- but all was not in vain because I was a far, far better person than I was before.
So, to answer your question in a rambling way - I hope that I have done the work and learned my lessons. H has finally realized that I'm a different person and that's a major reason why he wants to come home.
The problem is .. H hasn't done all the work he needs to do. Not yet, anyway.
Oldtimer, I appreciate that you challenge me and my approach to this situation. It does give me pause to think.
