Clarification from my post above:

I want the very best for XH whether it's with me or with someone else ...EXCEPT THE OW!!!

OW was toxic for him and helped in a major way to bring him down. If XH and I can't work it out, I at least hope he picks a "good" woman the next time.

BTW, did I mention XH told me that OW felt no remorse whatsoever for her part in destroying a home and family? I foolishly had assumed that she felt at least some guilt over the years, but apparently not.

Hard to fathom ..