Grace, Love, Compassion, and Faith

[wawinla]

Jounaling -

Been overwhelmed with my feelings the past couple days. Mostly been stuck in fear. Afraid of this process, afraid of the outcome, afraid to fight fairly, afraid to lose everything.

This morning I barely got myself out of bed. I wanted to give up.. not in a suicidal way but I was just over it. I just wanted to skip to the end of this road, be divorced, never talk to my wife again, and pray that what I settled for would last. I wanted to stop caring about my w, our marriage, I wanted the pain to be over, all my tears finally shed.

But I'm sure now that I'm not supposed to give up or take shortcuts, I need to keep moving forward no matter the pain or exhaustion. I need to keep trying. I need to keep pushing on. That is God's plan for me.

I just don't know what I'm supposed to be exactly moving forward on. Still fighting for m, still loving w, loving myself.. all of the above.

I'm sure that part of the answer will come soon enough.

V:

Thanks for checking my thread earlier today, much appreciated.

The visit was emotionally draining, so I'll post details tomorrow.

I just read your post...I empathize, I know the feelings you're describing, especially after my meeting with my WAW today.

I wish for you peace and clarity...will be thinking about you too.