Alright folks I've been told by my DB coach that creating mystery especially when you are separated sometimes will do some good. Also, some of the success stories that we read about seem to point to people who move on and show their spouse they can and will survive without them.
That being said I decided we should a repository of things we've done to create mystery. Please add to the list or use the list to create some mystery.
Here goes.....
- Buy some new clothes. Everytime I see my W I have at least one thing on that is new....no matter how small. - Buy new cologne/perfume. I hugged my W to wish her Merry X-mas yesterday and she said...."Wow you smell nice what kind of cologne is that?" - She came to get the kids yesterday and was 5 minutes late. So I almost pushed them out the door like I had somewhere to go...I didn't. But I left at the same time they did and took a drive for 30 minutes. - Always call your spouse from your cell phone...even if you are standing in your house. This may cause them to think you are always out. If you are out call them from someplace loud. I sometimes go into a restaurant(Applebee's, Chili's, etc) bar so it appears I am out with other people(friends). - If he/she calls you always hurry to get off the phone....like you have something to do. Also, while talking to her tell you have another call coming in and answer it. If you don't have another call just tell you accidently hung up on them. Make sure you don't call back for at least 5 minutes. - I have kids so every once in awhile when I am either picking them up or dropping them off I'll have friend call me right before I get to her house. I'll answer the phone and when she is in ear-shot I'll say let me call you right back. - I call my kids every night when they are not with me. Tonight I called W house and they were not there so I said on the message..."I'll be available for the next hour then I have something to do where I won't be able to take calls".
The goal here is to create mystery, intrigue, and OK let's be honest....JEALOUSY. Think about how mad some of you were when your spouse was/is being mysterious with their OM/OW. We are doing nothing wrong by creating the same atmosphere.
Please add to the list so we can all help each other. Who knows maybe some of these tactics will push some R in the right direction.
