Wife no longer in love with me - Part 4

[workinghardguy]

She has no respect for me, and I know I wasn't always the best husband, but you don't treat anyone like she has treated me particularly when I did so much to try and save our M.

One things I've noticed Cam is that your comments say you know a lot of how your W thinks. Look at the above quote for example. According to you, you know she has no respect for you.

But you don't know that. Her behaviors may say that she has no respect for you, but do you really know that's how she feels or thinks?

Take a moment and think about a teenager. Teenagers push and push to create separation from their parents. If you were to look at many teenagers, even the most troubled, you would think they have no love or respect for their parents. But very often it's the exact opposite. The problem is the teenager is so wrapped up in their own issues that they do things that are self-gratifying and immediately gratifying.

I know it is very hard to not see disrepsect and intentional pain in what our spouses are doing. And an A is a whole new level of that. At the same time, you are choosing to assign a specific intent and value to that action. Then you are using that intent as an excuse for taking a drastic action.

If you want to quit and end your M then do that. But don't make it because of her disrespect. Make it because you are no longer willing to work at it. Because the pain is too much. Because you're tired and can't do it anymore... whatever the reason is. It's not wrong to say you're at that point... each of us has our own breaking point. But saying it's because of what SHE's doing, you're scapegoating her. If you quit then man-up and quit. Don't blame her.

I can't say what I would do in your shoes... with no kids involved I very well might quit too at the point you're at. But quit on your terms, not because you're a victim.