Wife no longer in love with me - Part 4

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So you've made the decision to D have you? Pity.

You're acting out of fear. YOu're not letting her sort things out. Again, this is her timetable not yours. How would you like it if someone TOLD you that you had to make a decision NOW? Would that make you want to come up with a decision or push it away?

Listen.

Thanks Bond, I know I can rely on your feedback to put me in place

I actually think I have made the decision now that I need to give up on this and give her what she wants, for my own sake. I'm starting to think that I can't even imagine being with her again either, or wanting to be with her. I don't trust her and she has done too much damage to me, my family and our M.
I've owned and accepted all my faults, but she won't look at herself and this pattern, which she has carried through her life, will continue - she will keep running away. From problems.

Yes I am afraid. I'm afraid that I may never meet someone and have what we had, I may never have kids, I may always be alone......but I also need to meet someone who wants to be with me, and would stand by me. I'm afraid that I'm tainted as a divorcee and failure....I'm embarrassed to tell people of my sitch. There is a girl who is my account manager at an ad agency I use, who I like and is very attractive and we have to go to china together for work soon and I'm embarrassed to say what I'm going through because I feel like a failure.

I can't do anything about a D until February anyway, but I can start getting my balls back and take some control over this rather than have her call the shots.
She has no respect for me, and I know I wasn't always the best husband, but you don't treat anyone like she has treated me particularly when I did so much to try and save our M.