Living in the trenches....Thread #5

[workinghardguy]

NG... I know it's terribly hard, but you need to let her do her thing. If she wants to be downstairs, let her do it. By going downstairs you told her three things:
- you don't understand her and aren't trying to see things from her perspective.
- You want to control what she does, through guilt if need be.
- You want to be comforted, by her, and she can't do that right now so this reinforces her negative feelings towards you.

I know each night I want to tell my wife that she is making her world more difficult than she needs to. I wonder what I did that made life so terrible for her. But then take a step back. She is where she is and I need to let her be there.

Give her space. Even though it feels terrible and goes against all human nature and all your instincts... you have to give her space.