one month later

[workinghardguy]

Hey DC... welcome to the boards... sorry to see you here

Have you read the Divorce Remedy yet? If not I'd do that pronto. It was one month ago today (no wonder I'm so darn moody today... just figured that out!) that my wife gave me the I love you but I'm not in love with you bomb. Since then we've regressed to not touching, on and off talks, she's stopped wearing her wedding rings, has removed our married status from Facebook, and tells me she considers us "roommates".

So yeah... folks here get where you're at. It suxx and it hurts, but your T seems to be somewhat on the right track. You can't control her, she is going to do what she wants to do. The only thing you can do is provide a person that she is crazy to leave and would want to stay with.

The other thing you can do is buy time. I'll be honest, from reading lots of posts and sitches... I think this is harder without kids in the picture. I imagine doubly hard with conception issues in the mix. I don't know if my W and I would still be together right now (not that we're really "together" but at least occupy the same physical house) if we didn't have kids. She'd likely be living with a friend and this is harder if you don't see each other, but it can be done.

Did she tell you why she left? What she's unhappy about?

I can tell you two books I've read, besides DR, that I've found useful. First is No More Mr. Nice Guy which is applicable if you find yourself being the consummate pleaser. The other is "How to fix your marriage without talking about it". I'm only about halfway through that, but the psych insight into the differences between male shame issues and female security issues has been really helpful.