Just made a great connection with my upstairs neighbor - even got some work out of it!
Wow, she is a gem. We could have talked for hours, though she is an introvert - and she put so much of this into perspective for me (about how she grew up - etc. Indian marriages etc) ... love her.
But I'm realizing more and more that I want to do what I keep hearing a lot of people do - esp. at D's age now - which is nesting her. Meaning, she stays in her primary home and we come to her. She's already tired b/c of her schedule and adjusting to a lot - and I want exBF to see her a lot - and taking her up to his place (my neighbor just said it's not a 30-min drive like exBF told me! it's almost an hour-) is just not fair. He wanted to move up there FOR HIM - he could have easily moved within a 10-min drive from us (and still be near the city where he works - or used to work who knows) but he really never has any consequences - he keeps telling me he doesn't want us to move back in the area of my parents but then it's like - okay well you're the one who moved an hour away from us and the even farther away from the city?
What we're doing now works - she stays here, he can take her to his place maybe on a Sat. but during the week, it's too much for her. And he supposedly works - so rather than see her less, continue coming here - as he has been - plus we're closer to the city.
I mean I'm looking for a place now that's 1,000k a month and util paid for. If he'd even contribute the extra $675 a month during the winter months I can stay here - then $475 when we're not paying for heat, and that would allow me to stay her and he can see her as much as he wants. But if I have to move in with my parents or move farther south away from the city to afford living, then it's going to be a toll on all of us. I know everyone argues that I'm getting what I want and no one else has this and it's all about me - but it doesn't make sense to me to drag a 2-year-old to a place an hour each way 3x or more a week unless she's sleeping there, and even then that's a lot on her. (In my opinion) I just heard of like three more people (on top of the three or four I already know) doing it this way - I don't think I'm alone in this.
