NEED ADVICE

[gunny]

Have been reading DR, and trying to implement some 180's in my behavior, Specifically, w in the past has complained that
1. she felt not valued, not a priority in my life, my highly dysfunctional family sometimes vied, and maybe even usurped her position. She is right in this claim. Since she dropped bomb, I have made it clear to my family that I can no longer function as go to guy when dysfunctional family needs help, am working on my own codependent issues(I am middle child)

2. Our sex life was unsatisfactory to her, she felt deprived. Because of my problems with intimacy(many of which brought about by highly dysfunctional upbringing) she is right here also. Unfortunately, since bomb, we have had sex only twice, a couple of days after, and since then she has been sleeping in separate room. So, no chance to remedy this situation.

3. We didnt do fun things anymore. Have spoken to many of my friends/family and almost all of them say that we were the model of doing fun things, very rarely at home during the day, taking trips(hiking, camping, half marathons, had a cabin in the woods), so I tend to think her negative attitude on this was influenced by first two complaints.

4. I was a little to controlling, i.e. I did all finances/bills, would budget certain amount of money to her per week, see was not a problem spender. She has a legitimate gripe here, but, we had no debt and lived very comfortably, even she has said this to me as we begin to divide up assets. Since bomb, we have gotten separate checking accounts which negates control problem.

I guess my question is, w is leaving at the end of this month for long distance destination/seperation/possible D. I will have no daily, weekly, monthly, and possibly yearly interaction with her. How do I show her that I have continued to try to work on my problem areas, which again, regardless of how we work out, must be improved in order for me to become the better person that I can be.

Anyone been in a similar sitch? All comers welcome. THANKS