She hasn't been part of the process at all, all part of her "Eat, Pray, Love" and not wanting to deal with the reality of the situation. I'm not happy with how this will affect me financially, but she's adamant on being okay with the consequences.
So she wants all the 'freedom' of D, but none of the responsibilities?
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Since we've had minimal contact during the separation (hard to believe that it's been seven months), I find myself getting emotional when we do see each other. I have to remind myself that I need just be who I am now. Someone who understands and owns the mistakes they made in the relationship. And since the separation, working on becoming the person I was before with the added insights from the current sitx.
Well.. the same advice I gave to Val could apply for you.
First few times I saw my WAW after she said she wanted D, I had to train my mind for it. Visualization, pre-loaded decision making, and even remembering to eat something with sugar in it about 10 minutes before she came over (helps w/ self-control over a short term period).
There is a great book called Succeed by Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorsen. It has a lot of useful tools for this kind of thing.
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I know when I see her this weekend, I'll be re-playing in my mind on how did I end up here?
It can be healthy to reflect on things, but at what point do you start to move forward and figure out where you want to be right now?
I think we all do this to some extent.. it would take remarkable impulse control not to reflect.. but what is, is. It may not be exactly what you think it is.. but something is happening right now and you have to choose to be the man you want to be in that moment.
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When my WAS has asked how I'm doing, I get the sense she's asking because she's not happy with the thought of paying me spousal support. For me, my mind runs too I paid for your Ivy League MBA, stop playing victim.
I get this 100%. Thats a consequence for her leaving after taking advantage of what the M had to offer her. Its something you are rightly entitled to.. if you wish to take it.
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Been boxing up and getting things organized for the inevitable move to an apartment. This process has been difficult, letting go of a life that is now gone. The reality and finality of it all...quite sobering.
It's change. Finality.. reality.. those tend to be heavily influenced by our perception, which is heavily influenced by our thinking.
This year could be the start of the best your life has ever been. Can't know for sure either way...
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"she's blaming you for her past unhappiness and relishing her new life".
If that's the case, she is missing the point of what Jobs was trying to say.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
