Well, Lila, you were the one acting as if it was unreasonable and using the T to back you up. So, we were "calling you" on that. Try to focus on that and get something out of it rather than backtracking, covering, manipulating. You don't need to try to make yourself look good for us. And trying to make yourself look good for your own sake gets in your way of progress. Quit trying to retrofit the narrative.
It would be a lot more productive to say:
"Yeah, I was hurt he wanted a receipt. I was scared about what it meant. I said "fine" but I didn't like it. It made me feel good when I felt like the therapist was "calling him" on it. I hoped he'd say that he didn't really need a receipt. I hoped the therapist would say that he didn't need a receipt. But that didn't happen. It just makes it more real to me that we aren't a couple, we are now in a business relationship. It makes me panic a little. But that is really what it is. It is better for both of us to handle things in a businesslike manner."
That gets you a lot further than evasions and retrofits.
Now, is there any point in going on further? There may be, but at this point the costs of posting to you aren't worth the benefits to me right now. So, I'll check out for awhile, not to punish you, but because I'm simply not willing to invest more as I don't see anything anyone says to you sinking in or causing any real reflection.
To be clear, this is different than LBS denial in which some stuff seeps in and other stuff is blocked, yet bit by bit more trickles through. I just don't see that happening. I don't see anyone getting traction anywhere. It is not just one poster that's a mismatch, not just one poster you just don't hear. You are getting very consistent messages from everyone. Again, at the very least, you might explore that.
In any case, try to stop the retrofitting and trying to force a narrative that you'd like to see rather than what it is. I'm not willing to play that game any longer, and it isn't getting you anywhere. Also, don't transfer your co-dependent patterns of your behavior from XBF to people here. Again, it doesn't get you anywhere.
