Volume II

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18 days, lc4. He called me this week; achieved Expert qualification with the M-16.

That's my boy.

So...I've been on the No More Mr. Nice Guy website & forums. VERY different approach to WAW's. I can't say that I disagree with all of it, but there is a very hardline approach that is put out there for dealing with a WAW; kind of the "kick her to the curb" mentality.

There is a lot of discussion about how the WAW has no respect for her H, as evidenced by her EA or PA, and that respect almost never returns even if she does. If the WAW is dragging her feet about a D, the LBS should take matters into his own hands and file himself, thereby gaining control of the situation and shedding some of the Nice Guy traits that were part of the reason his W went down the path.

Looking back over our marriage, I can see where I played the Nice Guy a lot, to the point where I stopped being an individual man and became a kind of passive-aggressive weak version of myself...always trying to please, but getting angry when it did not net me the desired results. It got worse over time, as did my dwindling desire to "live life". I became very complacent..and very undesirable.

If you've been following my situation you know the OM is not a "Nice Guy", and this seems to be what really hooked my W. So...now what? I can do 180s until I fall down and she will never know. And even if she did, I do believe there is no respect or trust left between either of us.

Assume she woke up out of the fog, realized her mistake and wanted to return. Would the respect and trust also return? Probably not, and we would be right back to where we were; maybe worse.

My stance was that if W wanted the D she would have to do the heavy lifting and file / pay for it herself. As of today, W has made no progress in moving forward with the D. I can't read her mind so I really don't know why. But in agreeing to her request to hold off on the proceedings - again - am I simply being more of the Nice Guy that turned her off in the first place? One minute I am so ready to be done with her and her deceptions, and the next minute I am in deep despair that she is not here and will not come back.