In my mind, the MLCr has a distorted view. They know something is not right, but can't find it. Maddening I'm sure.
But they make choices regardless. Just like we all do.
I'm sorry my ex felt like she needed to make the choices she made. I'm sorry she made up a lot of nutty stuff to justify the choices and almost to help her feel sane if that's the right way to interpret what I saw. I'm sorry my kids have to go through this.
I am not sorry for her any longer. I was for a while. She got what she worked for. She got what she asked for; what she made things up for. I can't feel sorry for anyone that works so hard for something and gets it
I am not sorry for me. I have a lot of happy memories of a good marriage. I have an opportunity to have a great marriage at some point in the future.
I agree they do rush off. It's almost panic by the time we see what is going on.
I also had a similar experience where I really thought I was losing my grasp on reality. I think that was a distinct risk at the time and I'm glad I chose a different path. At no time didi it occur to me that I wanted to leave her or my family. I am glad I have a different perspective now even though it took more data points (i.e. time) to get that information.
She chose a different path (that goes back a long way.) I wish her the best in finding what she is looking for and the experiences along the way. I did and do love her, albeit differently now. Eventually that will go away as well as it gets starved out but that's ok. She is part of my history and we'll leave it at that with gratitude and happiness.
MLC or not MLC, I see this as a crisis that occured at mid-life that has no ready explanation.
I see both sides, but I lean towards the idea of MLC.
Be good B!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
