Sorry for the abrupt post there--someone came over.
I'm not sure whether you've read the book Passionate Marriage, by David Schnarch, but if not I can't recommend it highly enough. It's about ending co-dependence by learning to stand on your own within a marriage, but also describes the what sexual growth & fulfillment can look like in a successful partnership. It would be well worth forming your ideas of what you'd like to aim for at this point by reading it.
