GALing and Boundaries with XH

[AntoniaB]

Just an update as I haven't updated in about a week...

Issues with the helicopter parents are in flux...basically DBing my dad in that I detach/don't react when he gets aggressive, and as a result he's suddenly sending nice emails and gifts to me...with mom, I'm not calling her anymore at the drop of a hat, letting her call me...and she is actually calling less. Had a long talk with my brother who had good boundaries with my parents (though of course my parents see him as the "worst" of my siblings simply because he is so "mysterious" and "detached"...) He gave me several examples of times he saw me give my mom TMI and it bit me later...so that was instructive. It's such a learned behavior that it's hard to see where you go wrong and then you screw it up. But I'm learning.

As far as XH, no word from him since I emailed and talked about how his bringing up the set of friends who abandoned me was hurtful. I told him that I wasn't angry at him because obviously he didn't know it hurt, but I was saying that it did, so that we needed to stay off the subject in the future.

So no word after. I am not bothered, though, because I am trying to write an entire analytical book in 8 months, and I was really falling behind and I've gotten caught up in the past week or so. I'm really a research/reading/writing machine right now and that's what I need to be if I'm going to make my deadlines. So this book is officially WAY more important than him now ;-)

Still going to meditation group and signed up to do an online retreat in a few weeks where I can learn some things with live streaming video...and socializing here and there when possible.

In short...I'm pretty happy and content :-)