WAH - It's getting ugly

[25yearsmlc]

This has been bugging me today... He still makes it a point to let me know that he is "not having an affair". People in our circle have told me how he talks about (flaunts even!) the disgusting things they do (how's that for respect for his girlfriend? lol).

what people share this information with you? stop them from doing so.
it's not helping and the more who know, the harder it is for him to ever recover...plus it gives him a motivation to lie, to protect his rep

I think you are really letting your head get screwed in the ceiling about this.

What do you want?? Seriously....

is this man cheating on you? Sounds like it to you...right?

Okay then what do YOU want to do?

Do you want him to choose you? How will that happen?

By confronting? I mean it helps sometimes...rarely...but I've heard of it. Usually it backfires and pushes them into the arms of OW.

Are you being the better choice?

Or is your pain and anger (which I understand!) stopping you from being warm/loving with him?

IOW, are you contributing reasons for him to lie to you AND go to her by the way you are being with him?




I haven't said anything to him since he mis-texted me right after he first left me, but he just won't let it go.

So here's what I am wondering:

Why can't he own this with me?

B/C he cares what others think and apparently you are in circles who gossip,
and or he
thinks you'll leave him, AND OR you'll get angry or have a leg up in a divorce proceeding--& he'll be the bad guy

Is it because he still has "one foot in the door"?

maybe....but if he is cheating and lying, what makes you think he wants to be married to you more?


Or is he just trying to make me believe that this whole thing is my fault and he's the innocent party in all this?

I'm not a mind reader. Sorry.

The question is why this matters IF he's cheating and lying to you...so, what difference does it make?

You think if he's cheating/lying to you about it, BUT SAYS he wants to be m to you...

what difference does it make what else he says

if what he's DOING is so wrong to you?


Does anyone have any insight?

I think your energy has to shift its' focus from what he is doing and why and what he is thinking and why

to what YOU want & what kind of life and future you will begin to create today.