So it's an expense to me that's worth every penny. Just had another session with her, and I have to say if there's anything I do in this life, it's learn from this woman. OMG. Wow.
She gets things so well, it blows my mind and I write it all down. Plus she's lived through it. She's all about boundaries, control, talks to me about owning stuff, etc. Explained exactly what I wrote about above - why exBF does what he does - it's love avoidance and he has to keep me at arm's length in R with me, but then as soon as I move out of that he tries to pull me back in - which is where I started the convo and what I think happened the other day and where I told her I contacted her b/c I think I just finally hit rock bottom with it.
She gave me an example of what a healthy boundary would have been. (I'll put it here)
I want this to be an exciting and peaceful time for our daughter- I don’t want it to be scary for her – I would be excited if we can plan it that way it can be a good experience rather than all of a sudden it happens – but if you want to take her right now, you can. But I don’t recommend it.
She said, you can make a request. And I like that - and she said it can come from your reality. Or I could have ended it with "This is my reality and this is what I think is best for my daughter – I can’t be excited about how this is happening."
(these are just rough notes I took).
Anyway, we talked about that confusion and the places I get to with this (overwhelmed, lose sight of things, etc.)
So she's really explaining things to me in a way that I can hear and process and apply and I am just so grateful to this friend of mine who finally begged me to just talk to her once. Wow.
Oh, but back to the apts - yeah, it's tough right now. Everyone says stay put, but I can't afford to do 1475 and heat. exBF has the deposit and the utils are in my name.
He wants me to sign a receipt that says he gave me the money. Just so I can't go and claim child support that month or something?
Right now he's here with D and giving her a bath, doing things on time, cooking dinner. IDK - I'm going to give it a week. He said he's finding a new MC - and then i'll present the receipts, ask for october check (he already paid the rent b/c he wants us to stay here and he doesn't want to risk losing his deposit.)
