Be like a smooth moving river. On the surface so calm, but underneath so strong and powerful. Do not take your "recovering doormat" to the opposite extreme, like an angry child. In some ways it takes more strength to forgive someone their own weaknesses, than to hold on to anger.
The only question you really need to answer is: is this the one I want to be with? The mother of your child is one important factor to weigh against any grass that appears greener on the other side of the fence.
With regards to the bank accounts, either give her access or do not. Do not give her access and then be angry when she uses it. Don't put a bloody piece of meat in front of a lion, then get mad when it takes a bite.
Counseling is a chance for your W to learn you are not the man she thought you were. You do not want to "put all your cards on the table" in marriage counseling anyway. You DB her in there and you may as well DB the counseler also! If you need to get it all out, do some individual counseling.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
