I was shocked by being welcomed to the world of a WAW in March 2011 (three sons, 24 yrs married) although she still lives in the house in another room. This is the hardest things I have ever been thru and DB'ing is a constant painful effort!

I highly suspect an EA, possible PA. So far she has lied about a weekend away with her friends but actually met another guy secretly (by the way it's my cousin), taken overnight trips to his house and had an unexplainable birth control product found by my youngest son (age 13). Also, someone sent me some emails from him to her that show his affection although don't indicate anything to prove a PA, and about 400+ secret phonecalls between the two.

My WAW tells me that the birth control was purchased because she was mad at me when she thought someone was pursuing me (way off base and has never ever occured in our entire marriage, 100& faithful). She tells me that he is only a friend and in her current state needs someone to talk to. BTW, she has admitted her current psychological upheaval to be bigger than just her marriage to me and actually encompasses her entire life (lots of childhhod trauma). She is seeing a psychiatrist and we are going to a marriage counselor. She is telling me she isn't sure why this is happening to her now, and that she does not know what the outcome will be, nor what will happen to us.

I am engaging in all DB'ing methods and at least see that she has not left (she originally was saying that we were done forever). I really hate this because as she goes thru this, and I support it, it's as if I am somehow invisible to her in every way where I wasn't before. I love her to death and will stick with her all the way, however I really wonder if I am being played all along re: her EA, poss PA with my cousin.

I am asking all you wonderful people for feedback. Everyone around me including my sons think she is cheating and I should start over elsewhere. Given the evidence I described above do you think I'm the biggest chump on earth? To think of her sharing her soul with him and not me is so brutal, so brutal I can hardly breathe when exposed to it (every day).

Have any of you been thru something like this? Please share some words of encouragement, or if you think I'm being an idiot to let this go on let me know! Thanks to all you wonderful people.