I think there are two reasons people come to these boards, one is for advice and one is for support. Sometimes you get more of the former than the latter, and it can definitely be tough love, so I think it's good to step back once in a while and acknowledge that we're all going through this at the same time and it's terrible and hard. Most of us know we're screwing up when we do it, and know what we should be doing instead but it's a very difficult place to get. We just have to get up, dust off, and get back on the horse because that's all we can do.
One useful thing I read or someone told me is that your spouse "knows". Although they won't acknowledge, and pretend not to see or feel, they do. If you ask for something, and they heard you ask, they know you want it, so asking again isn't going to help. We just have to keep remembering that they know, and they feel more than they let on, and take comfort in that -- if they aren't deaf they heard you the first time, etc.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
