Confronted spouse...now he wont come home

[Nblost]

He did come home a day later and now we are on a roller coaster. I am seeing an IC who knows DB techniques. Basically, I am trying to GAL while he travels to OW's city each week for work. He has been coming home on the weekends and is somewhat affectionate and we are doing okay as "friends" and parents.

However, he won't quit the affair (It is both EA and PA). He has never had the intimate conversations he is having with her with me...that is the biggest draw. OW is separated, three kids, older than me, but wealthy.

For now, he is coming home, I lifted an early ultimatum...but affair is only 8 weeks old, long distance, so I have no confidence it will end soon. I am trying to hang in there and keep him coming home...but I am in constant pain.

The good news is I am secure financially with my job, have three girls, and a few friends who know and are supportive. H hasn't told anyone except a divorced friend of his. Our families have no idea.

I freaked out a bit today...he is seeing OW on Friday. We were on the phone and H likes to make jokes about affairs....I told him I didn't find that funny. I also told him I need to detach. (probably a mistake). He said we should talk when he gets home. I am scared.

Amazing how traumatic this is when you aren't even sure why you should care to be married to someone who cheats on you. (and can't stop)

I don't know all the acronyms yet but

M 12 years
T 14 years
Husband distant sine 5/11
Affair started about 8/11
Pa