Hi Friends, Its been awhile over a month since I posted. Things still are bad. Im at my lowest Ive ever been. The D proceeding continue and I just find it so hard to accept. Broke down in the attny ofc yesterday so bad that he ended our meeting very quickly. I told him I was sorry for being so emotional but thats just how i am these days. I feel like ive hit a brick wall and dont know how to go over it, around it, through it. Im scared to death of what this new life for me is going to be like. Ive never been on my own. Went from living with my parents to married to living with my H for 29 years. I havent seen him since july and the past month he has stopped all communication with me which was usually texting. Until... today. Yesterday at the attnys ofc i was informed that attny had set up a four way meeting with me, H, my attny and H's attny. The meeting was scheduled for today. Yes 24 hour notice and I was not ready to hear that. I told the lawyer i absolutely was not prepared to see my H and that I couldnt see him because Im just to emotional right now. Well needless to say my attny was not happy. Today I get a text from H saying that he had to reschedule a business trip because me and my attny picked this day for the meeting. H was not happy there was no meeting. I explained to him I had just found out about it the day before and was not prepared. My attny decided not to tell me until the day before because he knew i would worry about it. Well I also had surprises which he found out. So after not hearing from my H for over a month, he would completely ignore anything I texted him, he started texting all evening. He wants to know what I want for a settlement and wants to know now. I wasnt about to go there with him and he kept asking. He said he doesnt want this to go to trial because thats how all the attnys make their extra money. ????? There is a pretrial hearing next week. From what I understand that is where both attnys get together with judge to discuss the progress of the case and the judge gives recommendations. Does anyone know if thats true? H says he will insist that a trial date is set if no agreement is made my next week. Again I havent heard from him in weeks and weeks and weeks and now he is all chatty about settlements. H says if no agreement is reached the judges dont like that and we will both suffer from that. Does anyone know if thats true? He really wants this over. Ive tried telling him again this was his decision and wasnt mind and that its never to late. H didnt respond to that. He is still with the OW who lives out of state. I told him that his relationship with her likely wont last and I think he will have regrets later. No response. What do you guys think? Is this really the end. How do I give up. My kids need me to be happy again. Its affecting my relationship with them. They dont and hate to see me sad but dont know what to do. It seems like all I do is talk about H and they are sick of hearing it and about how sad I am. But I am and I cant hide it. I dont know what happened to this H of mine. I just dont. I wish he would see that theres always hope but all he talks about is settling. He said he's sick of living in a one bedroom space. He rents a room from a friend and basically only has access to the bedroom and bathroom. What do you all think? Is it over? Will he change? Why dont I hate him for the cheating and lying? I disliked him more when he lived here at times. Sorry to talk so long. Please write back. You guys are a good support system.
