PLEASE!!! Need help quick! Calling all vets!

[AntoniaB]

So she's playing hardball here with the pre-trial statement, being all aggressive, then passive with the initial "I care and here's advice to show I care" stuff on the phone, then an immediate return to an insult and a hang-up.

She doesn't CARE. She wants to CONTROL you. She is so out of control emotionally that to pretend/come off that she has her chit together, she likes to try to dictate terms with you in your life "outside the courtroom" and pretend it's all about being friends.

Well a friend doesn't paint you as an unfit father and alcoholic if you are not one. It's likely that all she has to do to get her divorce is say "irreconcilable differences", but she wants to kick you on the way out the door and drag YOU through the mud.

My 2 cents is that if she wants hardball, give her hardball. Not on HER terms. HER terms would be you fighting with her or continuing to talk to her so she can keep screwing with your head.

YOUR terms? Go dark. Now. Finally block her on Facebook. Stop answering your phone. Let it ring. Let her text till her fingers bleed ;-) Let her blow in the wind. I keep wondering how much more you need to see before you really start to make some boundaries. I don't really see how you have any at all.

I do think the way you acted in that conversation was fine--I agree with AJM. But really, you don't even need to go through the conversation in the first place if you just stop giving her access to you.

You gave up alcohol. That was an addiction. You need to treat her as an addiction and give her up too. You have the strength to do it; you just keep telling yourself you don't. But the proof is in your not drinking since March.