Peter..it's not enough to just know that. You've known it's a setback each time you did it before. Your marriage is hanging by a thread, but that is not enough to stop you.
I don't believe that sheer willpower will prevent you from doing this time and time again unless you get to the underlying cause of why you need to control where she is and who she friends on FB.
Where you always like this? Are you like this with other people in other areas of your life?
next time this comes up, I'm going to suggest you do the following. If she does something that gets you angry. Do the following: get a piece of paper and draw a line down the center of it. On the left hand side write statements about what she is doing (don't write vague emotions either) On the right for each statement write a logical rational response to you're statement
For example Event: W said she'd be home in 90 min, but was home after 3 hrs.
Statement She doesn't respect me Rationale response - she felt bad for being later than she thought, if she didn't respect you she wouldn't care what I thought. She respects me in other areas. No person is 100% one way or the other.
Statement: I'm worried when she is late Rationale response - She is a grown woman. She can take care of herself and doesn't need me to hold her hand in the world.
etc.
Now you have to write it down, you cannot do it in your head. There is something about writing it down. Think of every negative thought you have a bout an event. You are trying to train your brain really. It takes practice, but after a while you don't need to write it down and you automatically go to a more rational space.
If you are in a more rationale space, then you can bring up issue in a rational manner. I hope this helps.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
