WAH - It's getting ugly

[JustStunned]

What I am trying to figure out is how to NOT come across as cold. I want to be friendly with him and make eye contact, but I am having trouble taking that step lately.

There is what we want to do, there is what DB advises us to do, and then there is what we do.

I had trouble with this. I could not be happy and bubbly acting as if most of the time I interacted. Accepting that I would not be able to accomplish that herculean task I resolved to “do no harm”. I did the best I could to keep from being drawn into the argument and drama. I tried to keep my interactions neutral to friendly, succeeding at neutral more often. Neutral has been perceived as cold, but at least it was not an angry response justifying her actions

I will not beat myself up over it for it was the best I could do at the time. I am better at it now, but it has been 9 months. This is a process, a marathon.

You’ll do the best you can, having done your best use this accomplishment to identify better for the next opportunity. Keep looking forward. Try and maintain a PMA. It is attractive and a little mysterious.

If you haven’t already considered it try a couple of subtle 180s while getting ready tonight. A different cologne, eye makeup, style of dress. Not so over the top it is fake, enough to insert a little mystery, especially if it makes you feel good about yourself.