Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

Journaling

XW is in Texas for a work thing this week so I've had the girls all week. D9's issues at school boiled over and we had a special meeting Tuesday and decided to put her back in special ed. She's just not socially, mentally ready for the regular class.

As soon as she got back into a class with far fewer kids and less time constraints, she calmed down. She's WANTED to go to school past two days.

D12 is having boy issues -- she had a boyfriend, found out it wasn't as great as she thought it would be. She wants one of the "cute" guys. Oh the drama.

Had to talk to XW a couple of times about all of this.

Some down moments. Girls are now used to life where they spend most of time with XW. They miss her. That hurts a little, but I'm comforted by the fact that all of the research shows a girl's self-confidence is derived from her relationship with her dad.

They are only with me 45 percent of the time, but I matter.

Couple twinges of pain. D9 wanted to go to a dress store after school yesterday. She likes trying them on. She told the lady she wants to look for when her mom gets remarried because she's sure she'll be in the wedding. That hurts. Also, D12 has been talking more about how to get in shape. She says XW is doing the workout videos that helped her get down to a size 4 after D9 was born. She looked awesome. I told D12 that those tapes work, but if she doesn't want to do them fine, just figure out something else. Still, the reverie of how good XW looked then stuck in my mind.

Messaging with OKC has dropped way, way off. I'm going to see if she'd like to do lunch again next week. If yes, keep going, if no, move on.

Running race this weekend, but they only need us one day, Sunday. That's bad. I needed the full $350 for my auto insurance. Money issues are mounting.

Match.com subscription ran out. I'm going to reup, if for anything else just out of habit. It's nice to go on there each day and look around.

I'll wait until Friday though.

I think overall I'm just impatient. Money issues will be easier by February, March. I'll be able to wipe out some bills. I just keep wanting something to happen. It's hard to just be still. I'm better at it. But it's hard.