Thought it would be done by now...part 3

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks 25. I tell him because I hope he will "hear" it this time. Understand it! Which I know is totally against DBing.


I just read DB again. (Useful to do, btw.) It's not "against" it so much as it's against doing what doesn't work.

I don't want to push him totally away. I still feel some hope.
Go ahead smack me.

I won't smack you for having hope.

I will smack you for getting in HIS sandbox and messing around in his stuff instead of staying in your own sandbox and managing your own life. Yours is a full one if your kids welfare and your GAL was your priorities way up there...THOSE would be 180s too.

You've made HIS problems and his baggage your problem for too long. It has not worked. It has prolonged this misery and enabled the limbo do endure. The whole conversation with him crying again & about being so sad and not knowing what to do, and CRYING again strikes me as ...unhealthy yes...but also rather self indulgent.

So...is that a smack?

He acts as if hes not needed or wanted. Such low self esteem. I never knew! I thought this could help relize he is missed.

IDK what to say about this. I don't want to miss on some psych condition.

But there is some manipulation going on, again, that you play right into. It's like he can leave you for OW, ignore you and the kids for months...(who knows for how long since you've always been the contacter?)

yet he gets YOU to feel You need to love him MORE NOW and YOU have the burden of showing him more about how valuable and wonderful and lovable he is...in the face of behavior that simply isn't lovable. It's neglect, at best.

Just seems like you both took crazy pills. Sorry.


I know he is miserable but not miserable enough yet.

we think...

I believe rock bottom is near.

we hope.

Hard day today. I need to detach more - again. I truly believe he is a sick man.
I agree with BOTH of these ^^^statements. And if he is sick and won't get well...and will be sick for years and WITH OW...

will you allow yourself to live a good life? When?

Legally, everything is in motion. My L received all of his info. Now waiting for me to turn in some more info on debt.

good...sad, but necessary so, GOOD...

Also for him to come up with a visitation schedule. Can't wait to see theat.

Amen...please keep your expectations low.

Legally, So far all he has said is you want too much money.

Emotionally, he says he's confused, unworthy and you comfort him...

until physically he goes back to OW.

Kids? What kids?

I'm glad you remind him of childhood milestones but leave out the guilt.

IF YOU REALLY think he feels miserable and has low self esteem

then don't add to that part.

Play up the good times he's missing out on without playing on the guilt.