Thought it would be done by now...part 3

[25yearsmlc]

25yearsmlc- Want to run this by you as you know my sitch.
Spoke with H a few days ago. I am feeling guilty. Not sure if I should be.

No you should not.

H has been by see his kids twice- first time in four months or so. Its all great but each time I initiated it. Fine again. But, now its bothering me.
He has never in 7 months initiated anything. I feel his kids need him so I have encouraged it.

I get why you do this but still, it means he's doing nothing, still.


There were many weeks of NC.
But, now when he comes but has to leave it is not easy. Nor is it when he never calls back to talk or see them.
They almost go through the rejection thing all over.

that's something to consider then...idk what to tell you there. Sad.


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I told him his kids need him and I would get out of the way if it meant he would see them. No, he said. I didn't need to do that.
He also missed another milestone this week and I told him he shouldve been here. And, reminded him he is the loser in all of this.

why do you bother telling him this? I get the part about informing him but why the rest of it?

He said he knows.
He told me I don't know what to do.
I said yes you do. There are people who would help if he wanted.

well done.


Many tears were shed by both of us again. Much reminising was done on each side.
I told him he walked away if he wants he can walk back.


So, was I too hard on him?

I don't even understand the question so, no, imo, you were not too hard on him....


Did I guilt him?

so what if you did? It has changed nothing and he's felt guilt a long time now.

DId I remind him of why he left cause I am so mean? (in his mind)

who knows? If you tell him something calmly that is true...are you responsible for him feeling like crap? Really? Could it possibly be due to his actions? Maybe?

If he thinks it'c b/c you wanted to be Lutheran, does it matter?

I am sick of it.
I am hoping these are boundaried-I don't know.
Can I just have some input? Please

I think your comments were extremely reasonable considering what he is putting you through.

i don't know how you can stand his tears WHILE he goes back to OW...

Hang in there...what's the legal status?