I'm not sure what kind of abuse you're talking about, KML, or why you need to make so many accusations and assumptions.
But just to be clear, emotional abuse? He hit 6 of them. (Out of 9 - ). I casually went to the police after being in a vulnerable place after he threatened me and tore through our house.
What you need to understand is that I could have, and possibly should have, called the cops at the point with which he was barging through a door, stuffing D's stuff in bags, and telling me he has audio recordings of me and is going to court. OUT OF NOWHERE.
Please don't put him in a victim role any more than he already puts himself in a victim role. He did not come to me and say "I'm taking D up to the lake house" - nor did he call, talk to me about it, anything. He even admitted in MC tonight that it's something WE TALKED ABOUT NOT DOING YET. He said that. He knew he did it to piss me off. HE EVEN BLAMED ME IN MC -
I had gotten upset about something the night before and instead of going to him with it I said "I'm going out for a drive" and I did and just talked myself through it.
Different, eh?
He used THAT as the reason why he "just couldn't take it anymore, got fed up, and took d to the lake house even though he knows that's not what we talked about."
I reassured him - .... that night, the next morning, in therapy tonight, after therapy tonight, and on the phone - again.
Have I ever called the police on you? Am I dragging you to court? Am I preventing you from seeing D? I want NOTHING MORE than D to have an R with you b/c I know it's important TO HER - despite my misgivings with you.
Much more than most people can say.
Does it occur to him that storming through our house and threatening me and barging through doors is an intimidation tactic and considered emotional abuse?
I walked back out of the police station, they handed me something. I thought the better of it.
I really wonder when exBF is going to take a good look at himself and what he wants -
I'll remind you that I'm still here, caring for D now 100% of the time since he bailed - yet again. With no money from him. While he lives far far away b/c he couldn't afford to live in this town but wants me to stay here - even though I can't afford to ... and threatens me if I talk about moving with D.
The threats have go to stop. I'm in MC talking about how I can say "no" to him about something without him threatening, hiding, bailing, getting another apartment, etc.
The new IC even said it - the minute you put a limit on him he punishes you.
Do you have any idea what it's like dealing with THAT?
I don't even honestly know why I come on here anymore. Why the focus is ALWAYS on my behavior. Which - to be quite honest - was nothing short of realistic and contained this past week. I was horribly upset, and showed him none of it.
The MC told him tonight this is all his fears getting the best of him.
