lol, RFTL... I've been here far too long so it's advice I've been given, have learned elsewhere, have always known (but forgotten, which lead to my sitch), and otherwise stuff that you will come to understand...
btw, you are welcome... I'm giving back to the community that has helped me out for so long...
Also, regarding the kids... whatever you do. be absolutely sure that your R with your children grows... that you shine as a father for your children... not to prove something to the world, but because your kids deserve your all and the best that you can be...
I've heard this before and admit I've said it before, but I want to be clear about something regarding the kids...
never use language or ever believe that your are (just) "watching the kids"... You are their dad... not a baby sitter, not some stand in for when your W needs time away, whatever... I'm very resolute that when a parent is with their children, it is because THAT IS WHAT A PARENT DOES... I hope that makes sense to you...
Sure, it doesn't really matter in the bigger picture, but if we can avoid language and thoughts like that, we really understand that... we are just being dads... doing what dads do...
So on that note, as much as you may have thoughts about what your W is doing while your kids are with you... and any time, really... your W will do what she does...
Understand that those of us who's WAS IS having a KNOWN A... we KNOW that our WASs are with the A partner... it doesn't feel good... but, you know the phrase... it is what it is and there's nothing we can do about it...
It hurts, it sux, it is frustrating, it is demoralizing, and... eventually... it doesn't hurt so much... you will eventually, barely give it a second thought...
Hard to believe... and you will need to deal with it if you eventually reconcile with your W... but for now... shelve those thoughts and work on them a little bit at a time, when you have the strength...
