I guess you have to ignore her outbursts and tantrums. trying to justify or explain yourself won't work now. It seems to me she is really getting the true taste of what being on her own is like. While she enjoys the peace of no drunken H, she isn't liking the responsibility of it all. Leave her to it, let her continue to go her way. You working on you is best for you and those kids, they really seem to be thriving on having a F who is being caring and loving, who wants to be involved with them.
Have the pictures done with your S. I am sure they will be lovely.
When they are going through this mid life crisis thing, no one's feelings count but their own. My H said as much to me. It's all a part of the whole unfortunate process. She will take as long as it takes for her own personal journey. It could take a while, so fasten your seatbelt, it's going to be a bumpy night.
Oh, and when your kids talk about Mommy being cross with them, just tell them she is tired, but she loves them. Even if she says bad things to them about you, don't return the favor.
