Your post is really helpful Cadet, thank you. The kids are now S22, S18, S15, so old enough to make their decisions regarding their relationship with their father.
There was a question you asked me the other day 'What did I do wrong?' since I last posted at the beginning of 2010 and before H all but disappeared. Its a good question and the answer is, a lot. I didn't truthfully stop the pursuing and I it took me a long time to look honestly at my part in the break-down of my marriage.
Even when I began working with DB principles, I still tried to control; still believed I could manipulate the situation to my advantage.
It took me a long time to 'get it'.
I'm going to try and work my way back to detachment as I feel I've regressed. All those months and months of head-thumping thinking and worrying and imagining and second guessing and that terrible feeling of 'not being there' - especially for the kids - is creeping back in.
I'm back on the roller coaster and I want to get off!
You're right, if he wants me he'll let me know. Everything I've read on the boards indicates that. So thank you for the reminder.
I've managed to find your updates and have printed them off.
And thank you for stopping by and taking the time to help me,
