I feel for you - I'm going through the same sort of thing at the moment. I feel sick with grief and I'm so lonely. I still can't believe this is actually happening to me.
And I can't seem to stop feeling like this either. But I keep telling myself that it has to get better.
And I keep reading here that it does.
We will get through this, you and I and everyone else working together on this site to share knowledge and insight into what works. We are there for each other, and that's something very powerful. 25's reminders and encouragement are just what we need to keep us on track.