Wife no longer in love with me - Part 4

[cam]

Cam,

I hope you realize that I'm truly trying to help you. Yeah, I might be a little tough and blunt, but I believe telling someone the answers is nowhere near as beneficial as when someone figures out them out on their own.

That's why I try to get you to think about things for yourself in your situation. For instance, I feel a lot of your problem is right here:

How can I show her I'm changing(?)

Why might I think that?

Drew I very much appreciate your bluntness and telling it how it is, and thank you for taking the time to tell me that.
I can see and hear that you think that I am trying to change myself to get my W back....and yes in a way I am, but I also recognise and realise that I needed to change myself for me. My W has said it twice to me now, that she has seen that I've changed a lot and made changes to my life, but she hopes I am not doing it for her, and its for me.
Of course ultimately I want my W to see that I've changed and want to give our M a chance, but I also know that its probably unlikely and she would just rather put this behind her and move on, as she tells me.
She seems to think every time we talk or catch up gives me false hope so she would rather no contact. I've been trying to give it to her, but I have my DB coach saying initiate contact which I do and then it all goes to sh!t. Starts off ok, and then inevitably it goes to our M talk, either from her or me and then she either wants to leave or get off the phone.

I want to be a better person for me and for my life. I am just struggling with not having her in my life and what I wrecked and lost.