I figured this would work in my best Starsky channeling:
Originally Posted By: cam
"W,
Following our discussion on the weekend, I would like us to move forward with selling the house sooner rather than later. It's painful for me to be living there alone and most importantly without you.
I am moving in late November, so I need to have the house finalised and sold before then as I will not be able to maintain the mortgage by myself whilst not living there.
Therefore, can you please start engaging real estate agents and begin this process. I still love you and still think that we can have a great life together as a couple and a family. I've not changed my mind on that. But you need to do what will make you happy. I can not bring myself to assist with you on this, helping you to end our life together, as its not what I want and this is ultimately your decision.
I will send you a set of keys to meet agents and prepare the house for sale (do what you want to the second bedroom). I will be away for the next couple of weekends, so it will give you time to organise agents, remove your things and get it listed. Please keep me informed on the agent selection and your rational for selecting a specific agent and include a break down of the fees along with any other contributing costs.
Once you have your things and this process starts, I do not expect that there will be a need to see each other again, so I will leave it to you to update on the process.
I am heart broken, remorseful, frustrated, disappointed and empty - I trust that you're comfortable with your decision to end our marriage (8 year relationship) and this will help you find whatever or whoever you're looking for.
Not having her in my life has made me reevaluate everything I do, who I am and who I became. And I see I wasn't someone I wanted to be, and I am trying to work myself back to being the person she fell in love with.
But it has nothing to do with this:
Originally Posted By: cam
But having no contact and dealing with someone like her (who blocks things out and runs away), I feel like she will never give me a chance. How can I show her I'm changing when she would never initiate contact, and I am trying not too.
If you are striving to become a better person just for her, just to win her back .............
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
I hope you realize that I'm truly trying to help you. Yeah, I might be a little tough and blunt, but I believe telling someone the answers is nowhere near as beneficial as when someone figures out them out on their own.
That's why I try to get you to think about things for yourself in your situation. For instance, I feel a lot of your problem is right here:
Originally Posted By: cam
How can I show her I'm changing(?)
Why might I think that?
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Have you tried meditating or exercising? Hitting a bag or going for a walk can clear the head.
Tried a little bit of meditation...but couldn't really get into it. Have done some yoga too. I exercise a lot, always have, usually every day. Although I've cut back over the last few months as I've just lost interest.
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
