Grace, Love, Compassion, and Faith

[JustStunned]

Val, I am sorry you are hurting. I think many of the people on this board grieve together to some extent. Know that this will not last forever. To get beyond the anger and hurt the feelings must be experienced. It is good you have allowed yourself to feel.

Preparing for different anticipated scenarios is how I cope with the stress of an unknown. Rarely has all of my preparation been in vain. Just as rarely has my preparation been 100%. The situation will change, be prepared to adapt, and be confident you have done all you can.

Regardless of whichever w chooses, my response needs to be the same "It does not reflect on me and my self worth".
That is absolutely right this does not define Val!

Do not worry about the right words. Speak and Act with integrity within your personal sense of honor, and the “right” words will come.

I know it is hard to drop that rope. It is painful when we are not ready. Your pain is palpable through this and several other recent posts. It is ok. The rope will fall when you are ready. I cannot point to the moment mine fell. It crept up upon me. There is a peace that accompanies it.

I copied something from thatgirl007 sometime ago and modified it to fit my sitch. Perhaps it can help you also.

“I do still love her but not more than I love myself. Despite all of the good times, our history and the vows we made to each other, she is not good for me - and I do not love myself as much when I am with her, because she doesn't love me the way that a husband should really be loved. It makes me sad that I do not believe in her ability to love me the way that I deserve and I do not believe in her ability to maintain a healthy marriage.”


I could not bring myself to think of moving on, so I think of moving forward.


I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. Use your mediator he's there to make progress. You’ll get through tomorrow. Be prepared to take a few days to process the emotions of it.