Yeah, Endeavour (you British or something?) - as someone else posted, at least the statement wasn't followed with "by OM" Being here has really opened my eyes to how small my problems are by comparison to some others.
Thanks, Kaffe - shock is still clearing, but I'm starting to get a little pumped. Still a little weak in the knees when I think that by the time the little guy/girl is in kindergarten I will be 50! Then by the time...actually, no. Age projections are not my friend. Gotta just take it as it comes.
The news has sweetened M a little bit. I think we are both realizing that we DO need each other.
I did one of my stupid little things that hurts W's feelings last night (something totally unintentional and unknowing) - and things suddenly got cold again. I apologized simply and briefly, knowing that trying to pursue an apology more passionately does not make either of us any happier. I really don't like the fact that W takes so long to warm back up after a little thing. But, after years of miscommunication and "same old stuff" in our marriage, I guess it's where she is right now. Which means it's where I am, too.
I'll let you guys know how it goes with the parents - hers and mine - when we have told them. In the meantime, I have a knot in my stomach with anticipation.
W has a better attitude - or better bravado. She just says, "F**k 'em, it's none of their business."
I gotta get me some chutzpah like that.
Think about it...if you met a potential mate who was nothing but a bundle of needs, would YOU be attracted to them?
We told the in-laws yesterday about W's pg. Things were quiet for a few seconds, while people said, dead-pan serious, "You're not serious." Finally, it got through to everybody, and there was no shower of snide remarks, no antagonism. F.I.L. even said congratulations to us! M.I.L. had a completely deadpan face and said nothing until a little while after the announcement. I don't believe she mentioned anything about the coming baby for the rest of the evening, but was cordial when we left. Not exactly what W might have hoped for from her mother, but not what I had feared, either.
Called my parents (they live across the country), but only got their answering machine. So, I get to keep ONE of my ulcers for a little while longer . Again, I really couldn't tell you why a grown man is so nervous about telling his parents the news. Maybe I still have a part of me that wants to make Mom and Dad proud, and I know that they have some opinions on the idea of having children this late in life. But, then again, life happens. And that is what makes living so interesting.
The other night W and I ML - the first time in years I could really consider it ML. I have shown her a desire to take care of her, to help make up for the things she can do less of and things she has trouble keeping up with. I also express my gratitude for the many things she does (and she really DOES do a lot). I guess we can probably be considered to be piecing, now. I wonder if I should switch forums. Hard to think of, because I have grown to like you guys so much.
Gotta get back to work. TTFN
Think about it...if you met a potential mate who was nothing but a bundle of needs, would YOU be attracted to them?
Don't like us too much or we'll have to bring out the 2x4s...
Not sure you are in piecing yet, Psych...
Has your W been entirely convincing that she wants to work on the M? Both verbally and in actions? And ML doesn't necessarily mean she wants to work on the M... it means she wanted to get laid... lol!
No, Canadian. We like to throw an extra "u" into certain words too.
Well, the Canadian falls under the "or something" part. (O.K., so I'm being too hung up on being right. At least I'm doing with you and not with W!)
Well, things went even better with my parents than with W's. Her mother behaved herself. My parents were actually supportive, although they did find the humor in the situation. My Dad finally said, "Well, if anyone is going to be parents this much later than the other kids, I can't think of any better people." So, that's nice to hear.
Kaffe - point well taken. I am just encouraged that I am no longer feeling resistance or rejection from W. But you are right, she hasn't really overtly expressed any intent to work on our M. On the other hand, the other night, there was more to it than "wanting to get laid." That was what made such an impression on me. She was affectionate, close, wrapped her arms around me, etc. In short, it was more than just a basic bang (that IS too vulgar :D). To me, it meant greater progress than we have had in some time.
So, I have been trying to recognize W's need for additional support - she has had a bad cold lately, on top of morning sickness, so I have a chance to show her the kind of support I can provide for her when the pg is more adanced, and then the baby comes and a lot of her time gets taken up for "breast availability." And I am also continuing to give her space, which I am convinced is another one of the things that was hurting our M. I'm afraid I have a tendency to get very clingy, especially when I feel insecure in a relationship. And everybody here knows how that circle goes.
So, right now I think we are in kind of a holding pattern - I sort of think W is watching this step in the changes, to see if I will keep it up, before moving any further forward. Just a little bit at a time. It's kind of like sitting in a traffic jam - have to keep watching, and move forward quickly if traffic moves, but the rest of the time you just sit and wait, and try not to get too comfortable. Then again, little by little, traffic is lightening up.
Will type at you later. TTFN
Think about it...if you met a potential mate who was nothing but a bundle of needs, would YOU be attracted to them?
Actually, one of my closet friends is British, thick accent and all.
One of your "closet" friends? You mean she won't be your friend in public, but in secret? (Yeah, I know you meant "closest," but I'm feeling like a wise-arse today)
Can type more later. Maybe.
Think about it...if you met a potential mate who was nothing but a bundle of needs, would YOU be attracted to them?
. Again, I really couldn't tell you why a grown man is so nervous about telling his parents the news. Maybe I still have a part of me that wants to make Mom and Dad proud, and I know that they have some opinions on the idea of having children this late in life. But, then again, life happens. And that is what makes living so interesting. 
)
That is refreshing!