Wife no longer in love with me - Part 4

[In_Shock]

[quote=Drew]Cam,

Why do you define yourself and your happiness in terms of someone else?

Great question Drew. Absolutely bottom line to examine. Why indeed?
I think because I was unhappy last year and now that I realize what I've lost I understand that I shouldn't have been unhappy last year - as this now is real unhappiness. Not having her in my life has made me reevaluate everything I do, who I am and who I became. And I see I wasn't someone I wanted to be, and I am trying to work myself back to being the person she fell in love with.
But having no contact and dealing with someone like her (who blocks things out and runs away), I feel like she will never give me a chance. How can I show her I'm changing when she would never initiate contact, and I am trying not too.

My happiness has been defined by her of late because with her out of my life I feel so empty and lost. I miss her so much and all the fun we used to have together and now I feel like I have nothing. I miss my best and closest friend.

See, that's also the way I feel sometimes. It is the empty feeling that is dangerous. That means that you and I both Cam need to really find a way to step outside our sitch and fill ourselves -- not depending on anyone else. It's SO hard to do -- it takes time, effort and patience. How is YOUR GAL going Cam? Any new friends or any new things you have been doing to help get yourself out of it all? For me, I've been making new friends and hanging out with several. That's a big 180 for me.

I understand how you can question your W noticing your changes if you have NC--- but Cam, I wonder....in your sitch in particular, NC might be a really good option to allow YOU time to heal. If hearing her voice, etc... brings you back to a really bad place inside, perhaps complete silence. No email. No text. No phone. Concentrate on ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that makes Cam Cam -- and that can make Cam happy.

IDK -- I'm just a relative newbie myself, but I can feel your emotion in all your posts and wanted to reach out to you. Please take care of YOU as much as you can.

imho you are taking wayyyyyyy too much responsibility for the breakdown of M. Step back and really reflect. The IC should help some with that. And keep posting. I know it helps me a lot to just get it all out!!!!!